How it begins
by Abbeldy
Summary: It was so confusing. So confusing that she is still figuring it out. Read and see what happens when she figures it out.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer – I own nothing.**

**A/N – I know I have a few unfinished fics, which I promise I will finish, but I really wanted to try writing the Emily/JJ ship. I've never written girl and girl before, so I hope it's not too weird. Um, to make things easier for me, no Henry and no Will :P**

Emily picked up her go bag and started to head out to the elevator. She wondered again how her go-bag was heavier when she finished a case than before. It had the same things, well, she did collect hotel toiletries so maybe it was that. She shook her head and told herself that she needed some sleep. The elevator was on the ground floor so she jabbed at the button and waited.

JJ swung her go-bag over her shoulder and came up to the elevator where she saw Emily waiting there. The profiler was so freaking pretty. JJ knew she wasn't really gay, but she had always admired beauty. Huh. She wondered why she thought of the gay angle when she was just thinking how pretty Emily was. Lord knows she and Garcia had commented on it from time to time. She shook her head, as if to clear it.

"Is everything okay? Or are you channeling your inner dog? Though you have to be wet for that." Emily said, frowning as she thought about it and sighed. Her mind was clearly too tired to make witty comments.

JJ's head snapped up at the comment, clearly thinking dirty thoughts and then chided herself for that. What was up with her? She grinned at the dog comment and just said "Trying to clear my head. Weird thoughts keep popping up in there."

"Well, we all know that your head is a strange place, JJ." Emily said, teasing.

"Haha. Not funny. What are you up to now?" JJ asked. The elevator seemed to be taking forever to make it four floors up!

"Just home, bath and bed. My go-bag is heavier." Emily said.

"After all the hotel's toiletries you stuff in there? It should weigh as much as you!" JJ said, getting even.

"Okayyy. You got me. Ah, finally." Emily said as the elevator pinged open. They got in and Emily put her go-bag on the floor. She was tired. She leaned her head against the cool metal and sighed.

JJ was getting weirded out. She really liked Emily. Not the regular kind of liked, but the _liked_ kind for liked. Right now, she just felt like lacing her fingers through Emily's and going to her house, having a bath and sleeping next to her. Maybe she was just tired of going to her apartment alone. Maybe she was craving companionship. She definitely didn't get the urge to rip Emily's clothes off and do her in the elevator, but she just wanted to be around her.

"Emily?" JJ asked, before her brain could process what she was doing.

"Hm?" Came the reply from the almost asleep woman.

"Do you want to hang out? I just don't feel like going home alone and not have anything to do you know?" JJ said and crossed her fingers behind her back.

Emily opened her eyes and looked at JJ. "Yeah sure. But I'm waaaaay to tired to do anything. Can we just go home and hang out? Maybe get some wine or something?"

"That sounds perfect." JJ said, sounding relieved.

"Everything okay JJ?" Emily asked, sounding concerned.

"Yeah. I'm just in this weird mood. I can't explain it to you cause it feels strange to me." JJ said.

"Okay. If you'd like you can stay over. You have your go bag for tomorrow and I can lend you something tonight. And I have toiletries if you need them" Emily said, grinning at JJ.

JJ was blown away. She loved Emily's smile and was just staring and only snapped out of it when Emily touched her to get her attention.

"Sorry. Yeah. Staying over sounds good. You're sure you don't mind right?" JJ asked, just to be sure.

"If I minded, I wouldn't have asked. You just have to share the condo with Chauncy that's all." Emily said, getting off the elevator and made her way to her SUV.

"Chauncy? What or who is that?" JJ asked, dumping her bags in the back seat before climbing into the passenger side.

"He's my cat! I'll bet you didn't know I had one." Emily said.

"I didn't know you had a cat! Who takes care of him when you travel?" JJ asked, eager to learn more about her best friend and possible girl-crush.

"Neighbour." Emily said. She looked at the girl next to her. She wondered if JJ realised that this was the first time any of them were coming to where she lived. She was a little nervous, but she also wanted to find out what JJ thought of her house, her cat and her, outside work. They spent the rest of the ride in silence.

Emily pulled up in the parking lot and led the way to her condo. She unlocked the door and motioned to JJ to go inside, saying that she would just fetch Chauncy. JJ walked in and smiled. It was everything work Emily was not, but it was still work Emily. She didn't know how to explain it. As soon as the door opened, there was a little hallway with pictures of Emily at all the seven wonders of the world lining the walls. She was a different age in each picture, but looked just like she did now. JJ walked into the house, to find an odd low bed, some floor cushions, two bean bags and a comfortable couch. There was an antique looking cabinet and a small table for two at the window. The living room was connected to a kitchen on one side, which was spotless and practical, like the work Emily, and two rooms that faced each other on the other side of the living room. She almost jumped when she felt something rubbing her leg and looked down just in time. A gray cat rubbed himself against JJ's leg and purred.

"He likes you!" Emily said from behind. She walked across to the room on the right and dumped her go-bag and came out. "The furniture is eclectic, some stuff I've collected over the years. The low bed is called a divan and it's from India. It's really comfortable." Emily said, waiting for JJ's reaction.

"I love it! I love your apartment! It's you, but not the you I know. It's got both bits. It's like you still are the same person at work, but slightly formal. Like your kitchen, but you have the living room in you also. Like that African voodoo bag on your desk." JJ said, not really making a lot of sense but Emily looked pleased.

"I'm so glad you like it. Can I get you something to drink or would you like to shower and change first?" Emily asked, heading into the kitchen.

"I think I'd like to shower first." JJ said, watching Emily drink water.

"Yeah me too. This works out then. I'll order Italian, we can shower and we'll be done just in time for the food!" Emily said.

"Sounds good!" JJ said and followed Emily to her room, but stayed at the door, because she didn't want Emily to feel like she was invading her privacy. She caught the shorts and the tank top Emily threw at her and went to shower in the guest bedroom.

**A/N: Okay, so this bit was not hard to write. Please let me know if you like it. I've made JJ a little more hyper and happy. And Emily isn't this dark, brooding and troubled character, but just intensely private. Also Paget's cat is called Chauncy, so I've totally borrowed him for this fic! HA!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer – I own nothing.**

**A/N – Wow thanks so much for all the reviews! I'm so happy you guys like this fic! I'm on vacation for a month day-after. I'm going to the States, so I'm gonna try and update when I have the time. I'm even going for Paget's show in LA!**

JJ came out of her shower and found Emily paying off the food delivery guy. She was in pink pajamas and a black tank top. She had wet hair that was dripping slightly down her back. She smelt clean, like soap and shampoo. "Is that the food?" JJ asked, walking up to Emily.

"Yup! It smells good doesn't it? I'm so hungry!" Emily said, taking some of the stuff to the counter in the kitchen. JJ followed with the rest of the stuff, her feet padding softly. They opened all the containers and took out the plates and forks from the cabinets overhead. Emily walked across, accidently nudging JJ, to the cabinet in the living room and pulled out a bottle of wine. JJ shivered at the contact and turned around to get wine glasses, hoping that Emily hadn't seen the reaction. No such luck.

"JJ, are you cold? I can give you something warmer or turn it up a little." Emily asked, always the good hostess. She was her mother's daughter after all.

"No no, I'm fine. Just one of those involuntary things. Where are we eating?" JJ asked, changing the subject.

Emily frowned, looking around. She spotted the table by the window. "We can eat there" She said, pointing to the table. JJ nodded and carried the glasses to the table, where Emily had set down the wine. JJ poured and Emily loaded their plates with starters and got it to the table. The two women sat down and ate silently for a little. Emily clinked her glass with JJ's and took a sip of her wine. She leaned back and sighed with happiness.

"So what do you do in your spare time?" JJ asked Emily. She realised that she knew nothing about Emily, apart from what she saw at work.

"Well, I love travelling. So a friend of mine, who's a lawyer in DC, and I pick up every weekend and head out to a random place we've never heard of. Explore that place. It's a little lame, but we like it." Emily said, not understanding the need that she felt for JJ to think it was cool. She wasn't disappointed.

"Wow! That is so cool! I just watch movies, grab some drinks with friends and that's it. Your weekend seems so much cooler!" JJ said, intrigued by the woman sitting across from her. Her knee brushed against hers, but she didn't move it. She just let it rest against Emily's thigh, liking the contact.

Emily smiled. "Sometimes I do that too. The movies and drinks thing. Do you have any pets?" she asked, somehow wanting to know more.

"Nope. I'd love to, but I don't have a nice neighbour like yours! I didn't picture you to be a cat person though. Always saw you with a dog." JJ said, looking around for Chauncy.

"He's probably sleeping on my bed" Emily said, grimacing at the thought of the fight for supremacy that was her nightly ritual now. "A dog person? I guess I like them both." She said answering JJ's comment.

"Do you collect anything apart from toiletries and little souvenir type things?" JJ asked, looking around the living room, where every mantle had some exotic looking object. She spotted a board of some sort that looked like a snow board. "You go snow boarding?" JJ asked, surprise evident in her voice.

"Lord no! You know I hate the cold! That's a dune board" Emily said, following JJ's gaze.

"A dune board?" JJ asked, never heard of it before.

"It's really popular in the Middle East. It's like snow boarding, except it's down a dune. You just have to be a little careful because sand doesn't melt in your mouth, and makes for a painful morning after." Emily said.

JJ laughed outright at that. She could somehow picture Emily going down the dune. She thought Emily would be good at it. "Do you have pictures?" JJ asked.

"Yeah. They're there somewhere. I look like a total dork though, so I don't think I'm going to show them to you just yet!" Emily said, grinning.

They had made quick work of their dinner and picked their plates up and headed to the kitchen to load up on the food. There was pasta, some lasagna and some salad. JJ set her plate on the counter, a determined look in her eyes. She walked up to Emily and took a deep breath. It was a now or never moment for JJ.

"Can I try something?" JJ asked.

"Um, sure. What do you want to try?" Emily asked, the confusion evident in her expression and voice.

JJ leaned over and pressed her lips to Emily's. She hummed a little and drew back. She slowly licked her lips and looked up at Emily's shocked face.

"I just wanted to see what that would feel like." JJ said and turned to pick up her plate, shallow breaths coming from her mouth. This was huge! She kissed a girl, she kissed Emily! She hoped Emily thought this was a one time whatever thing and would let it go. She did not want Emily to realise that she definitely liked and was slightly turned on. That was not good.

She put some food on her plate and started to head back to the table when she heard her name being called. "JJ!" Oh shit! How was she going to do this? She kicked herself mentally for going on impulse. She slowly turned around to face Emily, who had snapped out of her shock and was walking towards her.

"If you're going to kiss a person, you should do it properly. That was honestly, pathetic. Like a five year old imitating grown-ups to see what it would feel like." Emily said, throwing JJ's words at her in a challenge.

JJ couldn't believe her ears! She couldn't believe what had just happened and how Emily was reacting! She put her plate aside and took a step towards the brunette. There was no space between their bodies and Emily could feel the warmth of JJ against her. She could smell JJ's particular spicy scent and she smiled mockingly. She didn't want JJ to realise how badly she wanted to try this. She had kissed a couple of girls before when she was younger, but she had never wanted to before.

"You sure you know what you're asking for?" JJ asked.

"I'm asking for a real kiss, not that thing you just did." Emily replied. She couldn't continue because JJ's lips were hard and fast on hers. Emily tilted her head to allow better access as their tongues danced with each other. JJ's hands came up and circled Emily's neck while Emily's hand caressed the underside of JJ's breasts, making her breath hitch.

They broke apart, breathing heavily.

"Well, that was interesting." Emily remarked, not knowing what to say, but wanting to fill the silence.

"I think our food is getting cold." JJ said awkwardly. They both burst out laughing.

"We're so bad at this! That was interesting and the food's getting cold. Nice." Emily said, laughing even more.

JJ slipped her arm around Emily's waist. "I guess we'll get better right?" She asked, then kicked herself for pushing it.

"I hope so or we're pathetic!" Emily said, leaning in to give JJ a quick peck on the lips before heading back to the table.

The two friends ate their dinner laughing, sharing funny anecdotes and bickering over which movie to watch. They were both in the same boat, figuring out what this meant. They both liked hanging out, definitely liked kissing each other, as was just proved and liked having that comfort that there was someone there for you, someone who got you.

**A/N – It's starting! Lol! I hope you like it!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer – I own nothing. **

**A/N: Can I just say I'm seriously pissed off about AJ and Paget? Also, I went to LA last month and got to hang out with Paget for a bit on Saturday (July 10****th****) and she is the sweetest, most amazing, kindest person I've ever met! She deserves so much more than crappy CBS. Anyway, here is the next chapter!**

After dinner, JJ and Emily said good night awkwardly, kissing each other chastely, not knowing what the other person wanted and too afraid to make any move. They went to sleep in separate rooms.

The next morning, Emily shoved the comforter off her, she always slept warm, no matter what temperature she was in. She shakily made her way to the bathroom, not having fully woken up. She went to the loo and brushed her teeth. Remembering that JJ was in her house, she brushed her hair and washed her face to look more awake. Luckily, she didn't need any make up to conceal anything. The only thing she really thanked her mother for was her skin. It was quite close to perfect.

She went out, thinking that JJ would still be asleep. It was 7am and she knew that not everyone woke up early. She was quite surprised to find JJ on the tiny table with coffee and the newspaper.

"Good morning! What time did you wake up?" Emily asked, approaching JJ.

"Good morning to you too! Coffee?" JJ asked and made her way to the kitchen at Emily's nod. "I woke up about an hour ago. I don't know why, but I just automatically get up at 6, no matter when I sleep!" JJ explained, pouring the coffee. She was a morning person and was feeling happy with what had happened last night.

She handed Emily the mug and cocked her head to the side. "What's up?" Emily asked, after seeing JJ's expression.

"You know, we're doing this all wrong. I was supposed to have kissed you good morning first and then given you coffee." JJ said, studying Emily's expression, to see if she had overstepped.

"That can be easily rectified." Emily said, smiling. She put down her coffee mug and leaned into JJ. She put her arm around the blonde's waist and pulled her closer. Their lips met and JJ hummed in satisfaction.

"Good morning!" Emily said, pulling back. She picked up her coffee mug and the two of them headed to the little table and just read the paper, occasionally stroking each other's hands. After finishing the paper, JJ looked at the time. It was almost 8, and JJ had to be in at work at 9. She had a meeting with the other liaisons at 9:30 and she had some files at her place that she needed to pick up.

"Shoot! I have to leave now. I have a meeting and some stuff I need for it is at my place." JJ said, getting up. She didn't like how abrupt this was, but she couldn't help it!

"Uh, okay." Emily said, unsure of why this was ending so fast.

JJ took Emily's hands in hers. "Hey! Listen, I lost track of time, which is why this is abrupt. I'd love to spend the morning with you, but this meeting is something I cannot miss and I had totally forgotten about it yesterday when I came here. I'll tell you what, Friday night, my place. I'll make us dinner and we'll do this morning over again. Deal?" JJ said, feeling bad when she saw Emily's hurt and confused look. She smiled when she saw Emily smile and leaned in and kissed her, longer than what they had done so far. "I really wish I didn't have to go." JJ said, squeezing Emily's hands.

"I know. But, I get it. Have fun at your meeting and we're on for Friday!" Emily said, giving JJ a last kiss, before she hurried out.

Friday at work was painful. Fridays were generally painful, because the team couldn't wait to get to the weekend. They probably worked more weekends than having time off and this was a rare weekend where they had time off. If the team was restless, it didn't come close to describing Emily and JJ.

They constantly texted each other and then started using the office communicator when Morgan asked who Emily was texting.

"Hey Prentiss! Who's the dude?" Morgan asked, trying to see into her phone.

"Hey! Get back! And it's not a dude." Emily said, lightly pushing Morgan away from her.

"Riiiigghtt. I believe you. That's why you are all giggly, texting back and forth and now you're going red. Sure it's not a boy." Morgan said, with a smirk.

"Actually, she never did say the other person wasn't of romantic interest. She just said that it wasn't a boy. And from what I've observed, I believe that she is more inclined towards girls." Reid said, very seriously.

"I think you're right boy genius! Look at her blush! Who is _she_ Prentiss?" Morgan asked, now with a mile wide grin, looking at the very embarrassed Emily.

"No one you know." Emily said, glared at Reid and disappeared to the ladies bathroom.

"I really hate when they do that!" Morgan muttered. He was torn between trying to get her to tell him and allowing her some privacy. The gentleman in him won and he decided that he would just be happy for her and that he would wait for her to tell him.

It was finally the end of the day. Reid packed up and left immediately after making a phone call to confirm his flight. He was going to the Grand Canyon. Morgan looked at Emily, who honestly looked a little nervous, after being excited and restless the whole day.

"Hey! Whatever tonight is, it's going to be fine. Just relax, be yourself and the woman won't be able to help falling in love with you. You are an amazing person." Morgan said, resting his hand on Emily's shoulder.

Emily looked up and smiled. "You really are a nice guy Morgan. Thank you. I guess I'm going to be nervous till it actually happens, you know?" she said, smiling.

"Yeah I know." Morgan said, squeezed her shoulder and left.

Garcia wasn't in because she was down with the flu and was working from home. Emily was eternally grateful for this, though she did feel bad for the technical analyst, but she would rather have Garcia sick at home than here, where everything was under a microscope. She did not need an all knowing, all seeing presence right now.

"Hey! What are you thinking about?" JJ asked, coming up towards Emily, go bag and case files in hand.

"Oh, just feeling a little guilty. I need to buy some flowers tomorrow." Emily said, cryptically.

"Why?" JJ asked, grinning. She could tell that the answer would be something that would amuse her.

"Um, I'm kind of happy that Garcia is sick and at home because she can't grill us here and I feel bad because I'm happy, so I'm going to send her flowers tomorrow." Emily said, taking very fast.

"To ease your guilt.." JJ asked, ending the sentence with an implied question.

Emily nodded. JJ just grinned and squeezed her forearm, with a sudden rush of affection. This was why she liked the profiler so much. There were quirks to her that she found adorable.

JJ waited for Emily to shut down and they left together. They got into JJ's car and went to the grocery store for some supplies for dinner. While JJ shopped, Emily slipped out to go to the Blockbuster store next door and get them a movie to watch. After much pondering, she picked up Miss Congeniality, because it was always a crowd pleaser. Emily could pretty much relate to pre beauty queen Gracie more than anyone else. She met JJ by the car and the two set off.

JJ was nervous. This was the first time Emily was coming over, and she hoped that Emily would like her place as much as JJ liked Emily's. They reached the apartment building and JJ parked in her assigned spot. The two got out and started walking towards the elevator. Emily slipped her hand into JJ's free hand and grinned at her. She was already feeling better and was now looking forward to the night, rather than dreading it. They entered the elevator and Emily immediately kissed JJ when the doors closed.

"I've wanted to do that all day!" JJ said, a little breathlessly. She leaned back and dug her keys out. The elevator pinged open and Emily got out first. She waited while JJ got out and led the way. JJ opened the door and went inside and flipped on the lights and motioned for Emily to come in. Emily went inside, her mouth open with wonder. If Emily thought she collected antiques, she was an amateur compared to JJ! She had furniture that was old, eclectic and looked like they could tell a thousand stories. Her walls were adorned with paintings, some original and some copies, that depicted the rich, colourful lives of people in Spain, India, the Middle East, China and other parts of the world.

"JJ! I love this! This is my dream house! She ran up to see a painting that showed the Japanese tea ceremony up close.

"You like it?" JJ asked, still sounding uncertain.

Emily looked back and walked back to JJ. "Like it? I love it!" Emily enthused and kissed JJ. In half a second, all thoughts about paintings, history and culture were out of Emily's mind as her entire being concentrated on the woman before her. She thrust her tongue into JJ's mouth and tangled it with hers. They made out furiously for a few minutes, before breaking apart panting.

"Dinner can wait right?" Emily asked, looking into JJ's blue eyes that were growing darker by the second.

"What dinner?" JJ replied and led Emily into her bedroom.

**A/N – I don't think I'm up for writing M rated stuff, so I'm going to leave this to your imaginations! Thanks for reading and sticking with the story! If you guys want to read about my experience meeting Paget, I've blogged about it in my blog – .com**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer – I own nothing.**

Emily Prentiss lay on her couch and reached into the plastic bag next to her. She groped and when she couldn't find what she was looking for, she put the book that she was reading down on her tummy and picked up the bag. She peered inside and gasped. She put the bag down and picked up her cell phone. She quickly dialed the number, slightly panicked.

"Hey Em! What's up?" Came the voice on the other line.

"I ate it all! I ate an entire box of Fruit Loops! In 3 hours! A big, giant box, that was supposed to last me 10 days!" Emily said, looking at the empty plastic bag in dismay.

"Oh my God! Why would you do that? You're not a binge eater! Is everything okay?" The voice said.

"I don't know! I was re-reading Vonnegut and munching on them and the next thing I know, I've eaten it all JJ! Is it okay? Should I get my stomach flushed? It's a lot of sugar!" Emily said, sounding worried.

"With your junking abilities, you should be fine babe. But wait for about an hour and see how you feel. If you're too hyper or feel sick, I'll come get you okay?" JJ said. She was at her parents' house for their anniversary. Emily had decided to stay back, because she was a little uncomfortable with meeting JJ's entire family so soon! Parents, she could handle. About a 100 relatives, there was no way!

"Okay. I'll call you in an hour." Emily said, sighing.

"You're crazy! I'll see you soon okay?" JJ said. She was going to Emily's place after the party. It had been two weeks and two cases since that fateful Friday. They had successfully hidden their relationship from their team, both deciding to wait and see if it goes somewhere, before announcing it to the world. Morgan and Garcia had been the hardest. Morgan knew Emily was seeing someone and wouldn't let it go!

JJ and Emily hardly spoke to each other and remained cordial and friendly at work. They really didn't want to jeopardise their jobs or put the others at risk by telling them and making them keep the secret.

When JJ finally got away from the clutches of her family and came to Emily's condo, she knocked and thanked the Lord that she had moved out and lived 45 minutes away! She knocked a little louder and waited, while tapping her foot. It was a little chilly outside and she really wanted to snuggle with her girlfriend. When there was no answer, she remembered the Fruit Loops and got concerned. She called Emily, while banging on the door. A groggy voice answered the phone and there was some shuffling noises. The door opened and a sleepy Emily gave her girlfriend a lopsided smile.

"Hey! Sorry. I was so sure I'd stay awake." Emily said, and yawned. She moved aside to let JJ in, who gave her a light kiss on her lips before walking past her and sinking on the couch.

"Today has been a really long day! My family drove me insane! I love them, but not for more than an hour and not all of them together! And then, my girlfriend ate a whole box of Fruit Loops, and I expected her to be wired, which is why I had an espresso shot before coming here, except her super fast metabolism kicked in and now she's almost asleep as I talk and then I had this long make out session with a cow in Iowa." JJ said, grinning as Emily's head shot up. Emily was half asleep, but she was listening.

"A cow? I always found goats more attractive personally." Emily said, stretching out on the couch and snuggling up to JJ. JJ put her arms around Emily and Emily immediately fell asleep, listening to JJ's heart. JJ was about to wake her up and make her stay awake, but she looked so peaceful, that JJ just picked up the Vonnegut book that Emily had been reading and started reading it.

Emily woke up and stretched. She rolled and groaned. She opened her eyes to find that she was on the floor, next to her couch. Last night came flooding back and she assumed that JJ had kicked her off the couch at some point in time. She must have really been sleepy if she didn't realise she was sleeping on the floor. She looked at her phone and it said that it was 5:30am. She sighed and stood up. She stretched and went to make a pot of coffee. She was humming to herself as she mixed batter to make waffles. She wanted to make up for being on a sugar crash when JJ came over last night. She was suddenly startled when a phone, different from hers, rang. She breathed a sigh of relief when she heard JJ's voice in the living room. She went over to see what was happening, taking the mixing bowl with her.

JJ hung up and yawned. She looked awake though. She looked up and saw Emily mixing something, a questioning glance on her face.

"We have a case. Strauss has requested we work on this personally." She said and yawned again.

"Do we have time for coffee and waffles?" Emily asked, speeding up the mixing.

"Coffee and waffles to go? I have to get back home and then go to work." JJ explained. She got off the couch and kissed Emily's cheek. "You have flour there." She smiled and went to freshen up. Emily laughed and went to the kitchen to make the waffles fast. She poured a mug of coffee for JJ and left it on the counter.

JJ came back after freshening up to find Emily putting a waffle into a box for her. She felt a sudden rush of affection and went up to her and gave her a tight hug. "You're awesome!" JJ said, before grabbing the mug and the box. "I gotta go babe. I'll see you in a bit at work.

"Bye!" Emily said, kissing JJ lightly. She went into her room and picked out clothes for the day and went to take a shower.

A couple of hours later, Emily walked into the bullpen. She dumped her stuff on her desk and looked up to see if JJ had come in or not. She heard some noise behind her and turned to see Reid slinking into his chair. He didn't look too good. She walked over to him concerned. "Reid, are you okay?" she asked the young doctor.

He nodded." It was a long night. I was with Morgan." He said and slumped on his desk, muttering "Never again" over and over again. Emily chuckled softly and went to the pantry. She came back with a few bananas. She handed them to Reid and said "Trust me. They've saved my life on many an occasion."

Morgan came up behind her and heard what she told Reid. "My my, Emily Prentiss. Party Girl. I like the sound of that!" He said, smirking. He caught the stress ball she threw at him and laughed.

"Hey guys, conference room in 5 minutes please." JJ's soft voice was heard as she made her way from Hotch's office to the conference room. She was holding a waffle in a piece of tissue and gave Emily a small smile as she caught her eye. The others didn't notice as they were too busy switching on their computers and logging in. Emily smiled back and got to work logging in. She had forgotten her password again and called Garcia to get it for her. She had an abysmal memory when it came to things like these. The team made their way into the conference rooms where they were each given a file.

JJ pressed the button on the remote and an image flickered on the screen. Emily literally gagged when she saw it and turned away. She inhaled deeply trying to calm herself and took the bottle of water Rossi passed her. The team chose to ignore her reaction as the images changes with each second. There were 8 images in all.

Emily opened her file and quickly overturned all the pictures and looked up at the team, who were all looking at her curiously.

"So we're going where now?" Emily asked, like nothing had happened. She took another sip of water and looked down.

**A/N: Sorry bout the delay. But hope you liked the chapter! Reviews make for a happier author. Just saying! :P**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

JJ looked at Emily strangely and continued. "Eight women, all pregnant. They seemed to be in their final trimester when they were kidnapped and their bodies were mutilated and it looks like the fetus was cut out of them. This is a local case guys so we're all at home on this one."

Emily stared at the writing in her file, systematically sipping water. This was not going to be a good case for her. She looked at Rossi who looked at her with sympathy and understanding. She took a deep breath and thought to herself "If I can get through the case with Matthew, I can get through this. Nothing is going to happen." She closed her file and headed to her desk after Hotch gave the word for everyone to study their files and come back with their initial findings and profiles in an hour.

JJ followed Emily and sat on her desk.

"Everything okay?" She asked quietly. Morgan picked up on that and asked her also. "Yeah Prentiss, you seemed quite off in there. You okay?"

"Yeah. Everything's fine. I think I have an upset stomach that's all. Feeling a little queasy." She said, smiling at JJ and Morgan.

"Ouch. Those images can't be very stomach settling, can they?" Morgan said, grimacing in sympathy.

"Please don't remind me. I think I may actually be sick!" Emily said, laughing lightly.

JJ put her hand on Emily's shoulder, telling her silently that she didn't buy one bit of what Emily said, but she left it at that. "Hope things get better!" was all she said and left to go back to her office. With a local case, it was more hectic than relaxed. There were dealing with a psychopath on their turf and the stakes got higher.

The team soon met again in the conference room. As they all settled, Emily got up.

"Um, Hotch? I was wondering if I could sit this one out?" Emily asked, hesitating a little.

"Is there a reason Prentiss?" Hotch asked. Though stern, he liked and respected his team and gave them a respite if he felt that they needed it.

"Uh, I'm just not feeling too good." Emily said, her excuse sounding weak even to her ears. She refused to look up at Hotch, choosing to look down.

"Well, this is a local case. Let's see how you feel at the end of the day and we'll decide based on that. Now, Reid, what could you gather from the information we have so far?" Hotch asked, shifting focus.

While Reid gave them a rough geographical profile, Emily slumped in her chair and looked at the first picture, cringing. JJ looked at her girlfriend, shocked. She couldn't believe that this was the same person who went into the field with broken ribs. Something was seriously wrong. She looked at Morgan who was paying attention to Reid and Hotch and then at Rossi, who was staring intently at Emily. After Reid gave the geographical profile, the men game to the conclusion that it was a male, based on the brutality of the murders.

"I think it's a couple. The woman wants the baby and the man wants to get one for her. Probably infertile or too old to have children. They also could have some kind of record, because clearly adoption is out of the question and may not be very well off for fertility treatments." Emily said, and slumped back into her chair. She looked at JJ for the first time who gave her a puzzled look and a reassuring smile. Emily didn't know what to do with that. JJ was comforting her even though she didn't know what was wrong. She felt like a tool. She sighed and looked down again, trying to spell things backwards. Like 'chair' was 'riahc'.

After the team had a preliminary profile, going by Emily's theory, which was the most plausible, they split up. They decided to meet the local police at 3pm and they had an hour for lunch. Emily decided to go out without JJ who was hurt. She just went to her office choosing to skip lunch. She didn't feel like eating.

Rossi followed Emily and decided to join her for lunch, which was a pastry at a bakery nearby. She ordered two red velvet cupcakes and an iced tea and sat at a table near the window. Rossi got himself a chicken sandwich and joined her. They kept quiet until she ate a whole cupcake. She then looked at Rossi, who was chewing calmly and he gave her a questioning look.

"These women, they wanted children. Probably loved them. They must have had plans for the nursery, picked out names, decided which schools. All of that. They were murdered, and the one thing they loved the most was taken from them! So brutally. Then, there is me. I had a chance to have a child, I chose not to. I killed something even before it was allowed to become anything, become this person. I'm as bad as the killer!" Emily said, looking down and not at Rossi. She saw tear drops fall onto the brown wood of the table and she quickly wiped her eyes, ashamed. She sniffed, but continued to stare at the lines scarring the wood on the table.

"Emily, look at me." Was all Rossi said.

She looked up, her expression tortured and anguished. She wiped her eyes again, as the tears wouldn't stop, even though she was not consciously crying.

"You were 15, in a foreign country, with the Ambassador as your mother. You dealt with it the best you could. It does not make you a killer. Can you imagine the life that child would have had? A mentally unstable child, wait, don't interrupt, for a mother, a grandmother who could only give it financial support and no father. It would not have had a happy life! You did it a favour. And honestly, it just existed, it didn't live. So you 'killing' it, doesn't say that you are a serial killer ripping apart families! Do not do this to yourself Emily. You are so much more than that. If you could see yourself the way we see you… Now come on. Dry your eyes and stop feeling like this. We've got a serial killer to catch." Rossi said, kindly, but firmly. He hoped the words would stick.

Emily nodded and dried her eyes. She ate the other cupcake and laughed at a story that Rossi told her about some people who were his fans. She felt much better. The duo got up to leave the bakery and just before they stepped out, Emily hugged Rossi, in a rare show of affection and said thank you. Rossi just hugged her back and they walked back to the office.

Meanwhile, in the office, JJ was upset. She was confused, because Rossi had cancelled lunch with Reid saying he was going with Emily. She was hurt because she felt that Emily had chosen Rossi over her and then was pissed off for acting like a juvenile girlfriend. Emily had a life outside of their relationship and that should be fine. JJ had her friends, she was much closer to Garcia, more than anyone, so it shouldn't matter. She gave herself a smack on the head, literally, and told herself to grow up. Emily would tell her if something was wrong in her own time. She just ought to be grateful that Rossi was around for her.

JJ went and got herself a sandwich from the cafeteria and ate it while watching an episode of Friends on her laptop. Somehow Friends always made her feel better!

Soon, her phone rang and it was the coroner saying that he was done and they were sending over the report. She called Hotch and let him know. He decided that they would discuss it here and then head on over to the Police Department and get a profile out to the Police. JJ texted everyone to get to the conference room as soon as possible.

Emily and Rossi got back five minutes after JJ texted them and they headed straight to the conference room. Emily looked better and was calmer. She went and sat in her usual chair and sent a reassuring smile to JJ and Morgan. Things were okay with her.

Hotch came in and handed out copies of the coroner's reports. He asked Emily if she was feeling better and she said "Much better, thanks. I'm on this case a hundred percent." She opened up the report and paid attention as the team discussed it. Apparently the babies were cut out of the mother's while they were alive. Care was taken not to hurt the baby, so the team knew that the killers were after only the baby.

They headed to the police station where they gave out the profile for a couple, who was probably childless and had lost the child or couldn't have children. The sad part was that they couldn't really do anything until someone else was kidnapped, but they were keeping an eagle eye on things. They had narrowed the victim pool to women who were in their final few weeks of pregnancy, who were brunette and attractive. The victims were tall, had high-power jobs and were well-off.

JJ released the profile to the press, urging people who fit into the victim type to be extra vigilant. The day drew to a close, with no one going missing and the BAU doing all they could. Emily partially was glad that the day was over and dreaded it, because she had to explain things to JJ. She sent JJ a text saying that she would come over to her place after going home and freshening up a little. She was going to bring some wine and JJ was going to get ice cream.

Emily showered and put on a navy blue top and a long skirt. She pinned her hair at the sides and wore a long necklace. The skirt was a tie-dye red and white skirt that made her look decidedly feminine. She wanted to see JJ's expression, because she was sure JJ wouldn't have even imagined that Emily would own something like this.

She knocked on JJ's door and waited. The door opened to JJ in shorts and a tee. Her jaw all but fell when she saw Emily. "Oh, wow. Em, you look amazing. More than amazing. Superfantabulously amazing!" JJ said and leaned in to kiss her. They broke apart and Emily came indoors. As JJ shut the door, Emily asked "Is that even a word?"

"Huh? What?" JJ asked, her mind was pretty much mush. She didn't know what Emily was talking about. The only thing that was registering in her mind was that Emily looked breathtakingly beautiful and smelt amazing! It was taking all of JJ's control not to jump Emily's bones.

"Superfan.. whatever. Is that a word?" Emily asked, feeling pleased at the effect she was having on JJ. She put the wine on a table and took JJ's hand and drew her to the couch. They sat down, where JJ said, "I made it up. It should be a word. I'm sorry, I cannot concentrate! Emily you look so good and smell so good and all I'm thinking about is you, me and my bed!" JJ said, looking at Emily like she was going to eat her alive.

Emily laughed and stood up. "Well, what are you waiting for? Let's go!" she took JJ's hand and they had a very pleasant night!

**A/N: This is a long chapter! It gets quite serious and touchy topics are, touched in this chapter. The views are opinions expressed, each person is entitled to their own. The ending is a little fluff cause I like ending things on a light note. Now question – should Emily and JJ talk it out now or later? Cause they don't really know each other too well, and this is Emily's deep dark secret!**


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